I have exciting news. I just spoke on the phone with "King of Kong" stars, Billy Mitchell and Walter Day. If you don't know who these two big stars are, then I can't associate with you. Anyways, they have informed me that I own every single "Madden 94" record that exists.
Can't say it's a surprise, everyone knew this announcement would come some day. Walter went through all my tapes and discovered my all-time record is 12,301-0. To be honest, I thought it would be better. Interesting fact, in those 12, 301 games, I never passed the ball, just ran all sweeps with Sweetness on the '85 Bears .
I guess there is an up-and-comer who claims he is better than me. Sounds a lot like Steve Wiebe, and we all know how Billy put him in his place. So, me and this wannabe hooked up online for a game. Final was 84-0. #34 rushed for well over 700 yards. Still got it, boys.
All this can be best summed up by recalling what a certain young man (whose name shall never be written in this blog but it rhymes with Lane) once had printed on a t-shirt. It said, "If you can't hang with the big dogs, get off the porch." Best line on a t-shirt since, "I heart The Situation."
I hope there's a "Kill screen coming up" for this gay blog. There's no way you played over 12,000 games of Madden 94, quit lying.
ReplyDeleteZelda
Zelda is "doesn't get the bit" guy.
ReplyDelete"Doesn't get the bit guy"??? What does that even mean? Dodongo was right with his great line, "You must be all fucked up watching A-team."
ReplyDeleteZelda
Zelda, I don't think this is the blog for you. While the blog may suck, my only goal is to offer a different perspective on things. It's almost impossible to find a different take on things out there in my opinion. It sounds like you aren't all that secure being taken out of your comfort zone. If you enjoy an "A-team line" more than a "getting a hooker on Xmas" post, then move on.
ReplyDeleteZelda, don't wrongly quote me ever again, you unoriginal douche. The Zelda references belong only to Dodongo. He dislikes smoke, T Rex's, and tea bags. Provide something of value to the board or go eat feces.
ReplyDeleteCK, great recovery on the blog going down the only road I've ever known with Madden 94. Who hasn't enjoyed the alternating HB toss and HB counter with Barry Sanders in a snow-covered Soldier Field? Answer = no friend of mine.
(Brukaw...Brukaw...Braw...Braw!) That's Barry spinning out of tackles as he glides across the field with the grace of a midget ballerina with thighs the size of volkswagons.
I am also a huge fan of one Billy Mitchell. "Guiness Book of World Records, Billy Speaking." Oh, sweet Jesus! You sell hot sauces door-to-door! I would do anything to live in Billy's shoes for a month. I would probably just stay indoors and stare at my huge cock all day.
Seriously, enough with the Zelda names!!!
ReplyDeleteKing Hippo
Couldn't agree more with CK.
ReplyDelete-The 2nd Don Flamenco
This thread was not enjoyable due to some crap posting (looking at you, Zelda).
ReplyDeleteCan we get a new topic perhaps?
- Possible Possible