Sext Machine

I recently learned that I have another skill besides double fisting chipotles. Surprisingly, the opposite sex likes to trade dirty texts with me. The first gal I met was in a yahoo gin rummy room, while the latest was in a justin tv room. The women acted completely innocent in a public forum, but after trading a few texts, we were off to the races. I discovered that these ladies didn't mind sending me pics, but they were more concerned in finding someone with sexting skills and a nice voice than receiving a pic back. They seemed to follow the rule about women masterbating to faceless men.

I'm the complete opposite, I don't care about anything but a nice pic. After I am done scrappin' to said pic, I'm no longer interested in the sexting. But these freaky ladies wanted the texting to go on as long as possible, so I went through the motions for a while.

The latest young lady, who was 19, at one point wrote me,"Go slow at first, because you are so big."

I almost texted her back, "Not sure I can continue to text someone who has a such a distorted sense of size." I thought that might ruin the mood though.

Instead, I told her that I needed a more provocative pic to get the juices running again. She protested for about 5 seconds before sending me a naked one. Incidentally, she had a very nice body on her with some big, natural heavies. After about ten minutes more of generic sex chat, I couldn't take it anymore, so I thought what better time than now to find out if this chick is really as big a freak as she says. It was time to find out if she was a trooper or all talk.

Most college girls think they are freaks but aren't. What 19 year old girls find disgusting often becomes commonplace for a 30 year old mom of three. So I asked this fine young lady if she was up for anything when it came to sex and she told me yes. I asked her, in different words, if she would like to be tied up in the shower while I tinkled on her. Apparently, this coed was not as freaky as she thought. Her reply read, "Ewwww, that's gross."

I never heard from her again. Perfect for me, no more awful texting and I got a naked pic to scrap to whenever I please.